The well known actor has just accepted a long standing invitation to go to the infamous and very expencive LA hotspot “les Panatalones nueve”.
However, the invitation is not without a dark and terrible secret. It turns out that Hawke has been invieted by the well-known Giraffe molester Ernestine Hoffman Parker.
Mr. Parker is best known for his 2005 rampage where he defiled more than 58 giraffes. One of his most famous accomplishments where tying 2 giraffes together with their necks, then continuing to sodomise them with a pool cube.
The monster Ernestine Hoffman Parker was never publickly charged
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